Remember middle school? Those happy years when childhood starts to melt away and the promise of being a real teenage sits on the horizon. If you were anything like me, your body grew in places you weren’t ready for and one morning you woke up with your first pimple glaring at you in the mirror. And with the squeezing of that first pustule, you were initiated into the wonderful world of hormonal changes. But it’s more than hanging out at the mall and dealing with parents who are no longer cool. Being in middle school also means rising expectations, both in the areas of academics and personal responsibility. Parents want to spend time with their children; they may want nothing to do with us. And while some distance is certainly necessary – as much for out sanity as anyone else’s – we still want to be the major source of positive influence in the life of our kids. Here are a few ideas for connecting with your middle schooler, especially as the summer months approach.
1. Cook something new together. We all have to eat and food preparation is a skill that often passes through the generations. Maybe it’s time to see if Grandma is willing to share her secret recipe for homemade pesto and make it with your middle schooler. When cooking something new you not only learn the ins and outs of a new dish, but you also make mistakes and problem solve together. Make this a monthly or weekly ritual, take turns picking recipes, and see how your relationship can grow.
2. Start a book club. We hear all the time that one of the best ways to develop a love of reading is to make sure our kids see us reading. If your middle schooler is inclined to engage in literary delights, see what they do with the idea of a book club. Make sure they get to select the book you read and work together to decide who, if anyone, you’d like to invite into your club. You could meet in someone’s home or make it a special night out where you dress up and enjoy a fancy dinner discussing the merits of the latest novel.
3. Plan your next family trip together. Invite your middle schooler to select a location for a trip. Talk to them about options for places to visits, how you’ll get there, what sort of budget you have for the trip, and what you’ll do when you reach your destination. Allow your child to make a few of the major decisions and see how they get excited about doing something special for the family.
Engaging your middle schooler and allowing him or her to express an area of interest is a worthwhile task. Have fun and enjoy your child where they are in their life now! The middle school years won’t last forever, but our nurtured connections will lay the groundwork for a lifetime of happily shared experiences.

“Leadership.” I don’t know about you, but I hear the word “leadership” fairly frequently. I see opportunities to attend “leadership training” and I have filled out applications for jobs looking for someone with “leadership skills.” What exactly do they mean by leadership skills? It’s not a field in which I can earn a college degree. It’s not something I was taught along with my ABC’s and it certainly wasn’t anything I learned in high school…or was it?

Young adults today are being challenged more and more to compete in a global marketplace. At Tallahassee’s own Florida State University, the academic profile of the middle 50 percent of freshmen accepted in 2009 included a GPA of 3.5-4.1 (www.fsu.edu, May 24, 2010). A GPA of 3.5 translates to letter grades of “A’s” and “B’s.” This is the most academically competitive class FSU has ever had. Beyond college, we live in a world where technology is at our fingertips and one job ad can collect literally hundreds and thousands of resumes. How is your child going to stand out in this crowd and get into the school she wants? How about landing the job he’s always dreamed about?

One way is to develop leadership skills. Students who have learned to be leaders, decision-maker, embracers of change, and opportunity seekers are going to come out on top in the years ahead. Not only will leaders have the knowledge and skills to move ahead, they will possess the attitude and fortitude to keep going despite obstacles. The challenges of life will not go away for any of us, but we can give our children a competitive edge by developing leadership skills.

Stay tuned for ideas on developing leadership skills in teens!

Summer 2010 is upon us! For many students around the country, school is out or soon will be. Kids will be heading off to all kinds of summer camps, having fun with friends, and going to visit friends and family.

Summer is also the perfect time to fit in special projects or activities that are hard to juggle during the school year. Using the summer months as an opportunity to pursue an individual area of interest is not only a lot of fun, but is also something that can provide you with an experience that helps you stand out from the crowd when it’s time to apply for college. Many students who do something a little dfferent over the summer gain memorable material to include in admissions essays and receive a boost in maturity.

What are some things you can explore over the summer? Here is a list with a few ideas to get you started:
- Conduct an individual study of classic literature, reading and recording your thoughts on novels that you’ve meant to read, but never had the time…you know the ones I mean, “War and Peace” always seems to be at the top of the list…it’s actually a really good book! This idea could be expanded to a book club too.
- Plan a special project to benefit some part of your community and execute; maybe you would like to setup high school math or reading tutors for kids in low income families, lead a theater group in your neighborhood, or prepare unique meals and deliver them to the elderly.
- Volunteer in a different state or country, doing something that you don’t have access to in your everyday life – a good resource for this is Americorp, check them out at www.americorps.gov.

These are just a few ideas to get you started. The main point is to follow your heart and find something that interests you and brings a sense of meaning or purpose to your life. Not only will your summer be fun, but the experience you gain will set you apart from the thousands of other college applicants trying to get into the nation’s top schools. Enjoy!

You just graduated? Congratulations! Where are you going to college? What’s your major? Any plans for graduate schools?

Whoa! Hold on please! Enough with the twenty questions! I hear from teens all the time that they are constantly asked these questions by parents, other relatives, the lady next door, and the checkout girl. These well-meaning individuals all mean well, but after awhile to the teen, they make up an inquisatorial squad. It feels more like they’re nosing around than acually intersted. And the truth is, not all teens like to be asked this question over and over! Often they are under a great deal of pressure to make decisions that seem daunting at a very young age. Despite many changes in the world of work, especially the fact that most adults change jobs or careers every five years, young people still have the misconception that they are making a decision about what they want to do for the rest of their life – which at 18 seems like a really long time!

What can we say to graduates instead? We can congratulate them on their accomplishments. Finishing high school is an exciting time of transition and we can encourage them to enjoy this momentand savor the memory-making process. After graduation day you enter the phase of life where you can justifiably say things like “when I was in high school” or “I graduated with…” We can support this change by going with the flow and instead of hammering graduates with questions about their plans for the next four to five years, we could just ask them what they plan on doing for the coming summer. That’s immediate and usually has a sense of fun tied to it. You’d be amazed at how much more you might get out of a teen if you present them with a topic that is less intimidating than “what are your life goals and how committed are you to achieving them?”

Congratulations to the graduating class of 2010 – I know you’ll make us proud!

I have mentioned the College Board website previously in this blog. Today I wanted to mention that in addition to a very cool college search tool, they also offer SAT prep. Check out the SAT question of the day here: http://sat.collegeboard.com/practice/sat-question-of-the-day. Did you get it right?

It’s that time of year when students in high school choose their course schedule for the following school year. Choosing your couse load for grades 9 – 12 can be a bit of a daunting task for both parents and students. In many cases, students are thinking about the here and now (which classes are cool or fun, what are my friends taking, etc.) and parents are thinking about the future academic opportunities for their child (how does trig look on a transcript vs. liberal arts math?) and how the choices made now will open, or close, doors down the road. The good news is that deep down, many students want to make decisions that are aligned with what their parents want for them, especially if those things are finding an area of interest that provides both happiness and financial stability.

What might your conversation with your teenager sound like when it’s time to schedule classes for next? First and foremost, actually have the discussion. Make it a fun event, maybe centered around an outing to Starbucks or over a sandwich. Bring up the topic of selecting classes for the next year with an attitude of caring about what your child wants, trying to avoid the “I know what’s best for you” tone. Have a simple opening sentence or two about the planning that has to take place, when the decisions have to be made, and ask what your child is planning up to this point. Once the foundation is laid, invite your teen to explore all possible options. Look at each subject area and discuss where they have been and where they want to go. Take note of where their interest lies and work with them to choose classes that reflect their interests along with meeting requirements for graduation, Bright Futures, or admissions requirements for a targeted school. Be available to talk with your teen about the pros and cons of each decision, doing your best to allow them ownership of the conversation.

A great tool available for students in Florida is available online at www.FACTS.org. This online resource allows students to plug in education goals and download their records into a portfolio that will then calculate the steps required to reach the target. For example, if a tenth grade student decides they want to earn the Bright Futures scholarship, FACTS.org will assess what is already on the student’s transcript and create a plan for them for the next three years to facilitate reaching that goal. It’s very cool!

It’s important to note that your child can take a full load of academic courses that will look great on his/her transcript, but if the student is running ragged trying to keep up with the responsibilities of several academic courses, he/she might start to lose interest in learning. Losing an interest in learning can lead to failing classes. This isn’t the outcome wanted by any parents, or students for that matter. Encourage classes that will challenge, enrich, and further cement a love of learning whenever possible. College admissions officers will see that in the applicants and at the end of the day, they are looking for students who can and will bring something unique to their campus.

Has everyone seen the College MatchMaker tool on the College Board’s website? It’s the ultimate online version of the huge bulky text that comes out each year. Students can search by a number of criteria for school’s that meet their interests. They can also create a user name and password to save the school’s they might want to learn more about. The link is: http://collegesearch.collegeboard.com/search/adv_typeofschool.jsp. Happy hunting!

I am so excited about this book I’m reading, “A Whole New Mind” by Daniel Pink! My sister, Lesley, recommended it to me and I can’t put it down. It’s all about the shift in our culture from the Information Age to the Conceptual Age and the development of right-brained thinking as essential to success in careers and business.

I’m enjoying thinking about how this shift will impact our college students – more and more emphasis is being placed on doing work that not only pays the bills, but that also reflects our values and gives us a deeper sense of meaning in life. I see this reflected in public schools already – Florida middle school students are required to take a career planning class that focuses on discovering their personal interets and translating them into careers. Maybe the next step is more right-brain teaching and learning!

Check it out at http://www.danpink.com/whole-new-mind.

Have you been enjoying the blooming world around us this spring? Tallahassee is covered in pink and white blossoms and is absolutelygorgeous! The sense of renewal and rebirth inspires me to find new ways to grow. One of my news ways is to start blogging! I have been meaning to do this for over a year and spring seems like a perfect time to start.

How about you? Perhaps it’s time to try that challenging recipe, train for a marathon, or visit someplace you’ve never been. I would love to hear about your efforts in blooming this spring. Please feel free to post your efforts here and spread the excitement of trying something new!

And for you students and parents out there getting ready to apply for college, special projects that students undertake in the summer that show their commitment and passion for learning are a great way to stand apart from the crowd. Spring is the time to start planning. Maybe your son or daughter loves to read and would like to undertake a study of the classics this summer. Or perhaps he/she would enjoy volunteering to teach math skills to struggling students. The sky is the limit!

Happy Blooming,

Sara

Hello there!

Welcome to the Joyful by Design blog! This publication has been established for communicating my interest and dedication to providing life coaching services to young people with one critical purpose – to guide them in creating their own joy-filled life. As a current thirty-something, I can reflect back on my efforts in high school and college. I went through the motions, worked hard in school and earned a degree so I could get a good job. I liked my major and was excited about it, but wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to do with it. Eventually I started to wonder “who am I” and “what do I really want to do?”

I found my answer in education and coaching. I have been a teacher working to inspire and motivate young people to pursue their own interests and be true to themselves while also thinking realistically about the future. I love working with students, showing them that they can choose a life of joy now, that they don’t have to have to wait until “someday.” The work I do reflects that philosophy. I coach students for success, help them with college admissions, and work hard to build their confidence.

Please check back regularly for helpful information and resources for students and parents.

Create a Life You Love to Live,

Sara